Here are my reasons behind the creation of each image, the significance of colors, symbolism and what I have attempted to convey here. |
But it's only a building.... The hospital envisioned as a Hell-hole, a place of torture and horror, presided over by demonic medics. This image was inspired by the "haunted forest" scene in the movie The Wizard of OZ, and I could see in my mind doctors and nurses marching down the polished hallways, chanting like the witch's guards. A humorous image, perhaps, but in the mind of the phobic not too far off base. The caption is an attempt to denote how preposterous the whole image is. Clearly an Exaggeration: The title basically says it all. I took the most sinister, outlandish depictions of a hospital, the road leading to it, and the surgeon to show how overblown my fears really are. If I think I'll panic/Most of this is of my own... These two images are a diptych, designed to compliment each other. They showcase the fomentations of fear that I have gone through in the pre-op (and in the days leading up to the surgery) before the surgeries I have had. They are all only in my mind, and mostly untrue, but giving them thought gives them life, as I have found out the hard way. Waves of fear... All phobics are guilty of this to some extent. The worse you imagine the situation will be, the more anxiety you will have - and ultimately the worse the outcome will be. Fear of the unknown... All of my life I have run from what I think will happen, what I think the doctor might do to me, what I fear he/she will say to me. It is true that lack of knowledge does increase the fear - if you don't know what to expect, then anxiety is a given. Medical professionals are.... Same idea here. Medics are only human, just like anyone else, with fears, hopes, dreams, and the ability to empathize with others. Do you think these.... This is also a way of undercutting my old notions that medics are cruel and savage. I had decried medics as bloodthirsty, and someone replied to me that he had seen doctors cry when patients, especially children, died. I was then asked the question "Do you think these might be bloodthirsty people?" My colleagues and I... This is a hard one. It is so easy to take the thing you fear, and totally de-humanize it and make a monster out of it. Go see a horror film and much of the time the bloodthirsty killer is not a human at all, but an alien, an animal, a devil, or something that looks human but really isn't. But here in this situation it's not right, for the medics are human and I have created this image in attempt to drive that idea home. The fact that they have wolf heads is indicative that I still have fears, despite evidence to the contrary. |
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