Here are my reasons behind the creation of each image, the significance of colors, symbolism and what I have attempted to convey here. |
Sedative 1 This is a hopeful image, representing the desired state of calm I wish to be in right before my operation. The flask suggests that this will probably be partly accomplished by artificial (whatever drug(s) they decide to give me) means. Sedative 2 More hope that I will be able to go from a state of fear (yellow-tinted figure) to ignorant bliss in the time before my surgery. The flask is again whatever they may give me to achieve this state. Sedated This is the last stage, right before anesthesia. My most recent experience with general anesthesia produced a feeling of floating and fuzziness right before I lost consciousness. This is an attempt to picture that feeling. Into the OR The last stop that I will recall before coming to in recovery. The wolf-doctors indicate that there may still be a hint of fear, despite sedation. Induction The first stage of "going under". Literally you are being lowered into another existence, bound to life by a fine cord, a state that most never remember. Anesthetized This is the operative stage of being "under". Still perilously attached to the world of the living, you plunge head-on into the mysterious existence that no one remembers and few understand. Literally you are suspended over the valley of death, the underworld, the vestibule that separates this life and the next. The minister of a church I once attended created a perfect analogy when he asked the congregation "Do you trust God enough to swing out over Hell on a rotting cornstalk?" Yes, I trust God, but the anesthetist? Though death from anesthesia is rare today, still you are in effect suspended by a fragile line in the space between the living and the dead. Changes Just that - what will happen, how this surgery will change both my appearance and life. Hell's Hue Merely a reflection on the color(s) of choice in the modern hospital and OR. Like warning colors on a venomous snake, these pastel greens and blues stoke the fires of my phobia, and all the imagery that goes with it, however irrational it may be. Lead into Gold The re-creation of my body that will occur when my surgery begins. The nebulas hearken back to the original creation, meaning that part of me will be made new. Evokes the mysical power of the medieval sorcerer. The wizard Doctor as sorcerer effecting the transformation. Purples and violets denote the mysticism surrounding the event. Although in my case it's really only about the doctor taking his blade and cutting here and there, still I look forward to an amazing transformation. |
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